I think my vagina is haunted
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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