last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Help. Why am I so naked?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
