I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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