My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
