so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
