he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
