Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
