Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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