Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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