3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
