when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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