Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
