There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
