I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
