it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
