I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
