Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
