I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
