she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
