her vagina looked like bernie madoff
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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