I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
