Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
