hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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