I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
