He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
