I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
