Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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