I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
