I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
