What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
