i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
