I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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