I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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