She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
