ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
