The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
