Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
