Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize