Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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