I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
