there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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