"it" just moved
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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