what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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