I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
40s are totally the cure
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
