Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
