I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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