You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
