so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I sprained my soul last night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
