I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
