you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
