I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
