Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
