just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
