Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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