what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
